Two of Hanvon’s Old Boys smashed an Apple ice sculpture in a funny reminder that Asian manufacturers still don’t get it. Firstly, smashing an icon is adolescent fun that might lube up two old blokes, but doesn’t solve anything. Second, if you’ve got to make a spectacle, make sure you’ve got something to offer. The Hanvon TouchPad B10 is not that something. It’s another in a long line of silicon and plastic wannabes that tout the most tablet-useless software ever: Windows 7.
Personal problems with Windows 7? None – on the desktop. It is a fine mouse-driven OS, but move its silly icons to a touch screen and you have an Ice Age of potential crap. HP’s Slate has changed sides. Android and Chrome are on the prowl – all mobile-driven OS’es. Why does another Asian manufacturer lose site of clever market trends and release another blow-chunks POS? At least they got the female-hygiene nomenclature down pad.
Spec and hands-on video after the gap:
Agharta Studio has just informed us that their recent hit 1112 episode 02 [TMA Review], a title that is leading the way in the first-person category in our adventure games list, has just gone through an overhaul specifically for the iPad. It has already been submitted to Apple for review under the title of 1112 episode 02 HD, and just in time for the worldwide iPad launch. Soon all lucky bastards owners of an iPad will be able to experience this stylish adventure in all its glory on the big screen for a mere $7.99.
A few more screens after the gap.
Air Canada, Korean Air, and all the fuddly duddly airlines out there should take a good look at Bluebox Ai inflight entertainment systems. An iPad instead of a shoddy resistive touchscreen monster from the days of Al Capone means a happier customer. It means fewer fights, less alcohol consumption, and maybe even quieter babies. While there are few details as to how Bluebox intend to ‘do’ the iPad, at least we know it is coming, possibly this July. And, it will be an elegant, worthwhile solution. Of course, rowdy customers may try to Gizmodo the new iDevice from a Bluebox Ai airline, but then again, Apple are used to theft.
More info after the gap:
Redmon Pie pointed out the cute iPad review by Microsoft’s brash CEO himself, Steve Ballmer. Succinct as ever, he riddles the iPad with holes of its own making and adds the cleverest of quips. Look out for Microsoft’s big next best thing soon enough! YouTube, I love you.
Complete video text:
Hi.. Steve Ballmer from the Microsoft Corporation with an iPad review.. Are you kidding me.. this thing is an etch a sketch.. How many times you gonna be bent over from that yoghurt eating, sandal wearing guru? it’s ridiculous! He releases a tablet without multitasking? Wait till I flood the market with a thousand of these things.. It’s gonna have Windows 7.. Windows Mobile.. Azure.. the Cloud.. It’ll have everything! Try opening an app on this thing and listen to some music.. Back and forth.. Back and forth.. Back and forth! No multitasking.. No multitasking! Are you kidding me? How do you have this much real estate and I still have to hit “Shift” to type a number? It’s idiotic! No flash.. No Farmville.. No porn.. No sports.. Now I know why Steve calls it Safari.. because its a hunt to find a website that works on this thing.. What is it with him? I thought that him and Adobe were friends.. they go back a long time.. Is there anybody that this guy won’t try and screw? When is enough? I thought we were the bad guys.. Jesus! Can you pick a more close system? Talk about screwing developers.. Developers Developers Developers! These guys make the Google twin idiots look like geniuses. Scoble’s all happy he waited 22 hours in line to get one.. Christ that guy is an idiot! So glad I got rid of him.. How do you not put a camera in this thing? How am I supposed to see Martin on chat roulette? Steve Ballmer from the Microsoft Corporation with an iPad review.. This thing blows!!
Keep on top of the latest iPad stuff here at TouchMyApps
And that’s fine. Cory has a load of targets, corporate, and political, that he’ll chow on to further his ideology of bolts, screws, and wood instead of glue, metal and glass. While his books are preachy, at least they aren’t boring. In fact, Doctorow’s stuff got me back into Sci-Fi, and that’s a good thing.
His reasons for hating the iPad have everything to do with the fact that you need a spatula and a hairdryer to get inside. In a Doctorowian world, you should be able to tear apart an Elmo doll, hot wire a few circuits with your mum’s bathroom mirror and a stolen bin lid; voila! you’d have an iPad. Unfortunately, this world belongs to the corporate and the sleek.
Without further ado, Apple’s international iPad gets priced and dated. You can grab yours from 28 May, 2010. Unfortunately, at 479€, the “magical and revolutionary” device costs a full USD 100$ more than the aiPad (American iPad). The other catch, however, is more serious (and may cost your a plane ticket): the iPad will only be kicking off in the following nine countries: Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Spain, Switzerland and the UK.
ChiffaN and I are out on our Russian/Korean arses…
iPad Pricing (Courtesy AppleInsider):
- 16GB – €479 Europe, £429 U.K.
- 32GB – €579 Europe, £499 U.K.
- 64GB – €679 Europe, £599 U.K.
Wi-Fi + 3G iPad
- 16GB – €579 Europe, £529 U.K.
- 32GB – €679 Europe, £599 U.K.
- 64GB – €779 Europe, £699 U.K.
Press Info after the gap:
Since the iPhone OS and the iPad are somewhat locked down, a riggum has to be rolled through to access all the fun stuff a hunk of hardware should be able to do. We’ve already established that the iPad can run external audio equipment, but this just in: a Spirit Jailbroken iPad can connect to external disks. You’ll need to be somewhat Terminal friendly, but otherwise, the process is as simple. The iPad doesn’t supply the full 5V needed to run some external devices, so it needs the help of a MacBook Pro, or other 5V USB power supply and a dual-entry USB cable.
What conclusions can a person wring from this example? Jailbreaking is valid. Jailbreaking busts limitations. It also pushes Apple to develop with pragmatic goals in mind.
While I’ve no visual confirmation, The Register has it on good terms that the iPad Slim does indeed exist – at least for UK customers. Whether it is the hack and slash gourmet MicroSIM dish hinted at, or a special ~3mm thin iPad, I have no idea.
Like every good romance, there is a snuggly rainbow ending even for Apple fanboys and girls. Cupidtino, an Apple meet-market, will open its heart-shaped doors in June across internet-ready Apple platforms all over. Till then, however, you have to sit tight, join the beta, or get hired by Cupidtino. Old and married, I’ve opted for the first, least eye-catching option.
Cupidtino is a beautiful new dating site created for fans of Apple products by fans of Apple products! Why? Diehard Mac & Apple fans often have a lot in common – personalities, creative professions, a similar sense of style and aesthetics, taste, and of course a love for technology. We believe these are enough reasons for two people to meet and fall in love, and so we created the first Mac-inspired dating site to help you find other Machearts around you.
Cupidtino will launch in June 2010 exclusively on Apple platforms – Safari, iPhone and iPad apps. It’s time to share the love.
Apple’s newest gadget is cutting through skepticism and its own sales estimates with powerful sales. 1 million iPads have sold since the April 3 launch; that is more than the iPhone sold in its first 30 days of availability. Thanks to its success in America, we worldies have to do without till the end of May.
Wait we will though. The iPad is the culmination of Apple’s most impressive research and development thrust. It is an audio/video/web platform based on the industry’s most powerful OS. But it isn’t a laptop, or a netbook. The iPad can run on a 3G network for 8 hours, play video for over 10, and audio for dozens. It even connects to cameras and professional audio equipment; not one of its competitors is equipped to really compete. Apple are proving once again that good design and bottom-up hardware/software integration are necessary to make a successful platform while their competition fight over USB ports, price and OS.