Hollywood Hospital in Review – The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Just going by the name, Hollywood Hospital stirs up our morbid fascination with movie stars – one can’t help but wonder, what goes on in the ER when a big movie star walks in, needing help? Could it be a botched nose job or worse, a scandal-worthy accident, requiring the utmost discretion?

In Hollywood Hospital, you get to rub elbows with the stars as they walk in, demanding star treatment. From the beginning, many of your patients will look familiar and their concerns worthy of a chuckle or two. There’s Medusa who needs her snakes cut off, a fully made up Mel Gibson-like Braveheart character whose already inflated head needs to literally burst, an Indiana Jones adventurer who has to find his way home, and a big, ugly woman who needs some slapping around. At the end of the ‘treatment’ – here’s the moral lesson – you will find that these bigwigs are normal people underneath the masks and makeup.

While Hollywood Hospital capitalizes on star power, the moment you fire it up, you feel a sense of inadequacy in the way this time management (TM) game was designed. Make no mistake, the intention to offer a different kind of time management game is there. However, making a difference is lost on major issues that hamper the smooth execution of the game. It doesn’t help, either, that the game also lacks some visual punch. Worst of all, the noise each character makes is just plain annoying after a while.

The familiar elements of time management games is there. You have stations that perform specific tasks, from the receptionist to the doctor to the treatment and then back to the counter for payment. Chaining by assigning the same type of patients to one doctor brings in more points and more money. As an added bonus, each character has a unique mini-game that will have you stitching, slapping, inflating and tracing as fast and as accurately as you can to earn more points. There are upgrades available at each level, though the in-house reporter is quick to warn you not to spend all your dough on these upgrades lest you may need money in the higher levels.

Unlike most time management games, however, there’s a significant interval in between stations while you wait for the task/treatment/diagnosis to finish. The bonus given to chaining actions is lost in the mess of customers walking in, waiting, getting angrier by the second and getting stuck at the reception desk. This means that queue management is nearly impossible without losing patients due to the bottleneck and ill-paced flow of the game – something that even TM aficionados such as myself, cannot overcome even with a solid strategy and even with a plethora of available upgrades.

On top of a fundamental problem in the programming/execution, there are persistent bugs and freezing issues that need to be addressed.

It pains me, a TM addict, to admit that this is one game I cannot crack, and it’s not because it’s difficult – there’s a serious gap between the concept and execution, and anything less than smooth and flawless is a crime for a TM game that promotes efficiency and strategy.
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App Summary
Title: Hollywood HospitalDeveloper: Zed Worldwide
Reviewed Ver:1.0.2Min OS Req:2.2.1
Price:$0.99App Size:14.1 MB
  • A quirky variation on the standard time management game
  • Instantly recognizable, humorous characters
  • Persistent bugs and glitches
  • Poor execution/programming that makes the game nearly unplayabla
  • Lackluster graphics
  • Annoying sound effects

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