This just in: iPad to suck rocks; April’s big news is iTunes 9.1
The iPad sucks. I’ll admit to having my suspicions about the device; it’s clumsy and half-arsedly pitched between devices: a formula which never, ever works. And, it’s made by the same Newton-designing Apple, a company who just cannot pin interloping gadgets. And TMA isn’t alone in thinking the worst of Apple’s soon-to-be-released device (to read on, follow the gap):
Gizmodo says you should stay away for these 8 11 reasons and TMA has a few things to say:
- Big, Ugly Bezel
- No Multitasking
- No Cameras
- Touch Keyboard
- No HDMI Out
- The Name iPad
- No Flash
- Adapters, Adapters, Adapters
- It’s Not Widescreen
- Doesn’t Support T-Mobile 3G – Actually, nothing outside the good ol’ USA is supported, so a lot more than T-Mobile is missing!
- A Closed App Ecosystem
Not to be outdone by Giz, iPhonedownloadblog reckons that there are 16! unforgivable sins which Apple committed in designing the iPad. Again, TMA stands by them as well, iPad – the name alone brings stinging tears of contempt to my four eyes! To Giz’s list, they add:
- Reading books on the iPad sucks!
- The storage limitation sucks!
- The battery sucks!
- No Widgets! and again, No Widgets!
- No USB port!
- No Video Output! – This one I found particularly helpful – good onya iPhonedownloadblog!
- It’s big and heavy!
There are other things to consider: the iPad’s got metal in it and that ain’t cool. Then, there’s the fact that it won’t be out in Korea till World Cup 2014, but the worst bit is that anything with the name #iPad in it is an immediate attention grabber. Golly I hate that bit, especially as an admin for an iPhone website. I mean hell, we care about a platform with two more letters in it, not a four-letter word!
And while we are never quick to judge, we can say without a doubt that Giz, iPhonedownloadblog, and the myriad others who have mentioned their dislikes so eloquently are spot on. I mean, it is only natural to judge a device which no one has used or seen and which will debut with a different OS, a stupidly high-quality IPS screen. At this point, my imaginings put the iPad at the bottom of the heap of unfounded, untried, not-yet-to-market devices which will be paved by the iPad’s introduction. Bet the iPad ain’t even much of a music player.
In fact, the iPad is just so embarrassing that I think I’ll just throw into the Microsoft miracle of a tablet which trounced the market back in the early part of last decade. Hell, I’m ready to say:
this just in: iPad sucks rocks and that iTunes 9.1 should be this month’s biggest news!
Happy April’s Fool everyone. It is a much better year than last when I suffered at the grimy hands of a pervert app developer… In a few days, we will see what the iPad is and is not and eventually can make our own informed opinions. Early pre-release opinions are silly – Giz and iPhonedownloadblog missed the boat here, but they may have cornered early hormone-prone reader traffic and I say, good on ’em!
Be sure to follow all TMA’s iPad news/rumours/and silly opinions.