A Look at iMeter, iPhone’s 1st Tricorder
400 Years Early
Today, I am back on the subject of useless apps. To set the stage, please try to imagine the TV show Star Trek or ST: The Next Generation. Warp speed, aliens, holodecs and world peace; It represented a universe where anything was possible. Today, I want to make a tardy congratulation to our world. Hooray! We have surpassed the world of Star Trek and it is not yet the 10th of January, 2009.
If you are or were a fan of Star Trek or know and hate it because a Trekky lurked deep within your family, you will know what a tricorder is. For everyone else, it is a box that Captain Kirk, Spock and all the gang carried that goes â€˜beeeeepâ€™ or â€˜zaaaaaapâ€™. Below are images of iMeter’s grandfathers courtesy of www.tk560.com.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered iMeter, and found that more than 400 years prior to the happenings of Star Trek, a possy of non-space cadets (Calin Culianu, Zack Silverman and Tamara Jerardo) invented the tricorder.
You too can have a tricorder for only 99 cents at the iTunes store. Some of the uses for it are too sensitive or potentially dangerous to list here however, here are a few of the safer.
How to use your tricorder iMeter
You: Honey, did you cut your finger? ~ZAAAAP~ There, all better.
You: Honey, you liked my Cream of Wheat, yeah? (She tilts her head, a â€˜noâ€™ dark in her face) ~ZAAAAP~ You: Honey, you liked my Cream of Wheat, yeah? (repeat if necessary)
Angry Wife: What do you mean you forgot to pick up the eggs? ~ZAAAAP~ You: Now, what were you saying?
Cashier: Sir, that will be 71,99$ plus ~ZAAAAP~ You: Thank you, I wonâ€™t need a bag.
Angry Pedestrian: Did you see that? He nearly ran me over! ~ZAAAAP~ (Crash)
Idiotic Driver: Haha, I almost ran her over! ~ZAAAP~ (Crash)
Is my food ready? ~ZAAAAP~ Yes it is.
Have I finished my homework? ~ZAAAAP~ Yes I have.
Your Boss: You did not think of shaving today? ~ZAAAAP~ You: We were discussing my pay raise.
You (holding your nose and iPhone toward an open washroom door): ~ZAAAAP~ You: Yeah, Iâ€™ll wait.
~ZAAAAP~ You: Honey, it looks like you might have an iron deficiency. Honey: ãˆãˆï¼ï¼Ÿã€€ã†ãã€œï¼(This one worked)
I have thought of one other situation where an utility like this might be helpful: Monty Python (or other comedy movie night that involves your mates).
â€˜What was his name?â€™
(outburst of laughter fully silenced by iMeter)
(surprise look on palinâ€™s face)
â€˜Centurion do you have anyone of that name in the garrison?â€™
â€˜Well no sirâ€™
â€˜Well you sound very sure, have you checked?â€™
â€˜Well no sir, I think its a joke sir. like sillious saurous oooooor, biggus ~ZAAP~, sirâ€™.
Your Mate to you: If you do that one more time by God, Iâ€™ll… (to your other mate, a rival for mate number 1â€™s affections, Your Mate nods) Rewind it. (As Marty, ((Mate â€˜better than youâ€™)) picks up the remote with a smirk, ~ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP~
In the past few days, I have had fun playing with iMeter and think it is a much more useful and mature way to laugh than â€œthe sick dogâ€ style of iFart Mobile but for 99 cents, it offers only a sound and a vibrating graphic. It is cheap and expensive all at once. The beauty of it is that despite its low price-to-performance ratio, it will broaden your imagination and annoy your mates.
Shigzeo maintains a â€˜buyâ€™ on this centuryâ€™s first useful tricorder but asks that you use it wisely and if you want any real utility, to look elsewhere.